The Domino Effect: Dealing with Unexpected Distressing News 1-2-3

What can I say, Life Happens! We may not like it and may not have any control over it, but it happens.

Sometimes, it happens in three’s (3’s). You know the old saying when someone passes away, two more are certainly to follow (as morbid as that may be). But to be honest, I believe it.

Please hear me out.

sad, grief, health

The Domino Effect: Dealing with Unexpected Distressing News 1-2-3

It happened to me recently. The good old domino effect of sad news. Seriously, the three(s) really suck and there is nothing you can do about it.

A domino effect or chain reaction is the cumulative effect produced when one event sets off a chain of similar events. The term is best known as a mechanical effect and is used as an analogy to a falling row of dominoes. – Wikipedia

Domino #1

I found out my aunt passed away. She was also my Godmother and no matter how often I did or did not see or talk to her, it still hurt. I don’t do death well. I lost my mother at a young age and my father in my 30’s. I’ve had enough of losing friends to cancer and such and don’t do funerals.

However, I knew I had to do this one.

My uncle and she both had a bout of the flu with other pre-existing conditions and although my uncle made it out of the hospital, my aunt just was not strong enough. I’m told she was ready to go.

Domino #2

My general practitioner doctor dumped me. Not really but he decided to change his practice to more of a specialty than general. That meant you had to “buy into” the program and medical insurance did not cover it. Who the hell as close to $4000 lying around for a year of specialty care?

So, I had to find a new doctor. Thankfully, one doctor I saw years ago is still in the business and switched over to her.

Fast-forward to my Friday appointment, which by the way, I arrived 30 minutes early to fill out all my paperwork. My appointment time came around and they announced she was running 30 minutes behind.

I don’t do well with waiting!

When I finally got to see her and she broke out the good old blood pressure machine, I jokingly said, “It’s going to be high”. I’ll never say that again because it was off the charts for me!

She seemed very concerned and thoughts of being rushed off to the emergency room flooded my mind. Mind you, that doesn’t work for me! Who will tend to my dysfunctional dogs? My boy hates everyone! This is not good and can’t happen!

There was a repeat check and it was still high. It really scared me!

I’ve been treated for anxiety since August 2018. In January 2019, my previous doctor raised my dosage. After thinking all day Friday and Saturday, this has to be the reason for the bp increase!

I messaged my doctor and told her to tell me how to get off the meds. She said to half my dosage until I go back next month. Being an impatient person, I want to quit now and my bp to be back to normal.

Patience is a virtue.

And I have none!

So here I go playing the waiting game on lowering my bp. Also, lowering my sodium intake and my caffeine. I don’t know if it will help. It’s those damn antianxiety pills that are supposed to save me yet are causing havoc on my heart!

grief, sadness, health

Domino #3

Due to my anxiety and my love for being at home, I don’t go out often. However, after attending my aunt’s funeral on Saturday, a divorced friend of mine and I decided to get together. We had planned on dinner and catching up. Was very excited about that!

About a few hours before I was to leave, I got a headache. I really didn’t think much of it but maybe I should have.

I arrive at her place and we caught up for a bit before heading out to a birthday party and then dinner. We at dinner well late into the evening, like 10 pm. I never eat this late and it was probably part of the issue. The other issue is I don’t think I’m a good passenger in a vehicle anymore. 😦

We had a great time chatting and food, Texas Roadhouse was delish! On the way back to her place, as always more great convo, I started getting hot so I cracked the window. In less than 5 minutes, I barfed all over myself and the inside of her new Mustang!


She quickly pulled over asking if I was alright. I don’t know if I was more embarrassed about what I did or the fact that I was wearing my Texas Roadhouse dinner. Thankfully she had towels in her backseat so I could clean up myself and her car to an extent.

No freaking clue why!

The only thing I can think of is exactly this.

I noticed over the past few years that I can get a bit queasy riding as a passenger in a vehicle. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have control or because some people drive by pushing on the gas – letting up – pushing – letting up causing an awful back and forth effect.

I apologized a million times and am still so embarrassed especially being we hadn’t seen each other in a few years.

Did she care about the car? Not shown to me. She was more concerned about me, my wellbeing. Such a great friend!

The Domino Effect Can Suck it!

And how do we deal with it? Well, we just have to push through it and find ways to keep going further. Suck up your pride, apologize, do things we don’t really want to do and be done with it.

No one said life would be easy, but when the Domino Effect kicks in WATCH OUT!

Over to you, I would love to know what type of domino effect you have personally experienced.

  • How do you deal with death?
  • What about your own health issues that pop up out of nowhere? Is that a midlife thing that is to be expected?
  • Do you have issues being a passenger in a car? Has it always been that way or something that gradually came on?

Let’s share and chat about it in the comments! Come on, don’t be shy! We’re midlifers! We can let it all out! 😉

19 thoughts on “The Domino Effect: Dealing with Unexpected Distressing News 1-2-3

  1. Oh Bren, I feel for you! It’s not been a good time at all. I don’t so death well either and have had my share and bit in recent years. I do hope you’re feeling better now and can notice the good things around you as well. I suffer from white coat fever, and my blood pressure rises accordingly. It’s hard to stay relaxed when you know you should be calm!! take care #mlstl

  2. Oh dear me. I know that old foe of anxiety. I also know that feeling of wanting to please and go out even when I don’t. I am learning to say NO, thank you. I hope your way of looking at life and its many ups and downs settles. Nothing like anticipatory stress to set off your ill-health markers. I have had to learn how to dampen down things since I got a cancer diagnosis. It helped!
    Denyse #mlstl

    1. Hi Denyse, I’m so sorry you know those feelings. 😦 I know what you’re dealing with is nothing compared to mine and I so admire your strength. I’m glad you’re finding ways to deal. Hang in there!

  3. There are times I wish it was only three things that suck. lol There are days I want to go back to bed and start over. As long as I am in the front seat I am usually good but being a passenger in the back seat can mess me up.

    1. Oh my gosh, I totally know about starting over. Sometimes I make it out of be long enough to feed my dogs and let them potty and then back to bed I go to send a message to my boss. “I just can’t deal today. See you tomorrow.” Yuk! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one with “riding” issues. Is it really us with the issue or the driver? 😉 I think the driver! LOL

  4. I hope you are feeling better and your health issues are stabilising. I agree with the domino effect although I see it more as the downward spiral syndrome. Same thing. When you start getting sucked into the vortex it just gets worse. I think in midlife all sorts of strange things begin happening with our minds and bodies. Staying as fit, healthy and sane as possible, whatever it takes needs to be a priority. I’ve had bad news recently and I’m sitting on top of that spiral 😦 #MLSTL and Shared on SM

    1. Hi Johanna. Things can only get better, right? I need to really work on getting my fit on. Spending more time walking my dogs and playing with them to keep my cardio going. Right after my divorce I got a bit slack and the anxiety didn’t help. But I refuse to go down without a fight!

      I’m so sorry to hear about you spiral. 😦 If there is anything I can do, please feel free to reach out to me. Support can be a great thing! Take care, hon. xox

  5. Oh Bren! Dang, that was rough! I pray for better days for you and fast! You deserve it. Oh, and don’t worry about the car experience with your friend. If she’s truly you friend she will understand, just like we would if the shoe was on the other foot. If you need to talk any time, just message me on Twitter, you already follow me there @MariBlogger7.

    1. Hey Mari and thank you! Oh my gf was more concerned about me than the car. I just still feel so horrible about it. Things can only look up and I try to be a positive person (most of the time). Spring is here and that is my active time. Yard work, walks with the dogs, grilling on the deck and just enjoying my new life. I appreciate your offer too! Glad we’re connected on Twitter! 😉

  6. I’m actually glad I didn’t look for the trifecta a week ago as I had 2 doozies hit back to back. My solution was a buying a bath bomb at Lush (total splurge) and sitting in hot water (literally) for 20 minutes. It didn’t change the doozy situations, but yeah, I did feel a bit better. 🙂 Visiting from #MLSLT

    1. Oh my gosh, are hot baths just the best? I love lots of bubbles with my candles. It can be so relaxing until I hear my dogs squabbling in the other room. hahaha Seriously, it really is a good detox. It doesn’t fix it, but eases the mind. I’m glad you only had a double and not a triple. Those really suck the life outta you! Glad to see you here! Keep pushing forward!

  7. I hope you are feeling better, Bren. Life can be hard, but also beautiful. The thing that helps me most is remembering that everything is temporary. Endure the hard times, knowing they will pass; and embrace the beautiful, knowing it will also pass. Sending positive thoughts your way. May you be surrounded by love and well supported on your journey. #MLSTL

    1. Hi Christie! Amen to that girl. I know, all things are temporary and can be changed if we put our mind to it, right? I am better. My blood pressure thing is going to be a work in process but I’m not going to give up. There’s a reason and there’s a fix. As for the rest, it’s all part of life and getting older. What better way than to share our lives with others? I appreciate you stopping by, commenting, and sharing. Have a fab day!

  8. If there was a “three” going on in my life, I haven’t really noticed it. But I totally get the passenger thing, especially when the driver is doing that pedal and pause thing. The stop and go feel drives me crazy. And when you add that to a meal, the headache and all the meds you’re taking things are bound to churn up.

    1. Hey Jennifer. Yeah, when I look back, my ex husband would drive me crazy with the driving thing too. Maybe I just like to be in control but whoa! Stop the motion, baby! LOL Better to find out while you’re with a friend that like on a business trip. Holy cow! Could you imagine? LOL Thanks for coming by!

  9. Hi Bren, you have had your ‘3’ haven’t you? I’m so sorry for your loss. My trifecta wasn’t too bad – we are moving house so packing and organising the same of my MILs home, my daughter resumed work after 10 months of maternity leave – I will miss our almost daily catchups and finally I had a cold – poor me LOL:) but I’m back on top of things. Thanks for sharing and you are right about the dominoe effect. #MLSTL

    1. Hey Sue! Thank you! Life happens, right?

      House packing is one thing I used to love but now, dread the thought of it. I hope it’s a good move for you. How is the lil one doing? Those colds have been flying around here like chicken pox. I’m almost afraid to go out cause I don’t want it! LOL Hey, just think, sometimes the domino effect can be good things! Great to see you here girl! xox

  10. Wow Bren that was certainly a trifecta and a half for you! So sorry that sucky things have been happening in your world. Other than not having a job (which could actually be a good thing) I’ve been doing well lately – no job means less stress, less headaches, and more time chilling at home (a good trifecta for me). I hope the month ahead brings you three good things to balance out the last three bad ones – keep your eyes peeled for them!
    Thanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂

    1. Hey Leanne! Thanks, my friend. What doesn’t kill us makes us that much stronger. Life can’t be all roses, right? I’m glad you’ve been doing better. That job stress can be a major bummer. Time at home, I’m envious! I love to be able to work from home with my pups! Keep up the goodness! Too much bad junk can really funk of your world! I’m so happy to be back with MLSTL! It and all the gals stories brighten my day! I so missed the community! xoxo

Care to share with us?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.