Life is what we make it. If you want to be miserable, so be it. If you want to be happy, make your own happiness. Don’t delay and start today!
Do It Your Way or Not at All
Why would we want to do it another way? Because society says so?
This is where people become so unhappy in life. Trying to conform themselves to what is acceptable in society.
But if you think about it, at one time, these “norms” weren’t acceptable either.
BAck in the 50’s and 60’s
- Women didn’t work. It was unacceptable
Woman’s place was at home tending to the housework and the children.
Nowadays, most women and men are working because we have to in order to provide for our families.
- Women didn’t curse and if they did, they were tagged with names like “slut”, “floozy”, and so much more.
- Women didn’t hang out with the man in their life.
If there was a get together at one’s house, the men usually sat in one room with the cigars, cigarettes, and booze and the women hang out in the kitchen.
It was inappropriate for women to be boisterous and loud while men could to their own obnoxious things.
- Women did not get divorced. We were taught at a young age to get married, have children, and stand by your man.
While all along, the men could run around at all hours of the night with whomever they wanted and did not have to answer to the wife.
Times Have Changed
And for the better.
Times for me have changed as well.
I find myself
divorced single at 50.
I don’t have anyone to answer to accept for myself (and of course, my dogs).
I do what I want when I want, and how I want (without ridicule of doing it wrong).
If I don’t feel like showering one day, I don’t.
I can sleep in knowing that I don’t need to rush to be somewhere because my partner isn’t a homebody.
I am my own person once again.
Mind You, Things can be tough when you’RE alone after 50
Not knowing if you’re financially able to keep the roof over your head or keep your transportation running smoothly can be a bit of an anxiety getter.
Things you once took for granted around the house have now become a burden to you and your wallet. You need to either learn how to fix things on your own or find reputable companies to service your needs (without being raked over the coals).
If you have children still at home, this can be yet another case of worrywart syndrome. Making sure you get child support and can tend to your children’s needs is key!
Let us not forget our own needs!
- Me time
These are all things one may worry about after 50 and being single. But, try not to let them stress you to the max like I did. It has taken me quite some time to get my act together, find a new me, and make my own happiness (minus the anxiety).
Once You Find Your New Rhythm
You’ll find happiness.
- Don’t rush out to date again. Many do this. I did it for almost a year. I’m happy to say, I have been not dating for almost a year and am very happy where I am in life. Maybe someday I’ll date again but for now, I am happy with just me.
- Try your best to set aside a bit of money. When owning your own home, things are going to break. Your lawnmower will need maintenance along with so many other appliances in your home. If you don’t have the cash, get a zero percent interest credit card and reserve for emergencies.
- Find new friends that you have things in common. You may find you can’t relate to your married existing friends any longer or that due to the divorce, you’ve lost some friends. Don’t be afraid to make new ones.
- Be sure to keep your head in your job. I failed at this when I was battling my anxiety. My job suffered. I took off work because I just couldn’t deal with life. I couldn’t get out of bed. Thankfully, I’m overcoming but it has been a long journey.
- If you need to hibernate and have “you” time, do it. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad because you are enjoying your new found peace in your home. “You” time is imperative.
Start a blog and make new acquaintances! There is a huge group of mid-life bloggers just waiting to be heard and to network with you. Get your blog. Set up a Facebook page for it. Get your Twitter going.
There is definitely Life after 50 and Divorce. Start making it happen today!